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Gebohq Simon, whose full name is "Gebohq Joseph Anne-Marie Simon", was once the Main Character for the Never-ending Story and is one of the oldest serving Heroes. He is the brother of the current Main Character, Losien Simon, and the love interest of Rachel Pi. He is often seen as a cowardly but loveable hero yet he is known to have his moments of incredible bravery and perseverence when it has been demanded of him. He is loyal to a fault but also generally gullible and used as comic relief by the Writers. Alongside his friend Galvatron he fought Ares and DarkSide.

Description

Appearance

Gebohq has a strong heroic streak but he also has a darker side to him, which was once exploited by DarkSide. He once insisted that he didn't take to either light or dark and tried to stay middle-of-the-road[NeS1 1], however later heroism, and becoming Main Character, steered him firmly down the noble path.

Personality

Gebohq originally insisted on being neutral in all things, neither swaying to good or evil[NeS1 1]. He isn't especially brave and is more likely to retreat from a situation if it looks like he cannot win[NeS1 2]. He is often dimwitted and will commit idiotic acts on a regular basis. He will even cause havoc and destruction out of idiocy, though never intending to cause harm or trouble[NeS1 3].

Romance

He had a mild romantic obsession with Laetitia Casta[Ext 1] after seeing her in a magazine[NeS1 4].

Doughnut Obsession

Gebohq seems to have an obsession with doughnuts, even using the baked goods as a distraction[NeS1 1].

Powers & Talents

Paladin Powers

For a brief time during the early Pages of the Totallyevil Story Arc, Gebohq gained the powers and talents of a paladin[Ext 2] class character[Ext 3] from Dungeons & Dragons[Ext 4], while other characters gained other classes[NeS1 5].

The Narrative

Many Characters have an awareness of the Narrative structure of their world but Gebohq generally goes the extra mile to not only further the Story but actively adheres to story conventions and tropes[NeS1 6].

Main Character

Main article: Main Character

TBA

Story-Wielding

TBA

Sword-Wielding

Gebohq is proficient at sword-wielding and a sword is his most commonly used weapon, including a beam sword[NeS1 1].

Gebbing

TBA

Turning into a Rock

Gebohq is able to turn himself into a rock. While as a rock he is actually still capable of moving around[NeS1 1]. It was revealed that this is because he is half-Jupiterian; as Jupiterians are able to transform themselves into other things (citations needed).

Possessions

Paladin Set

Gebohq, while taking on the class of a paladin[Ext 2], was granted a paladin weapon set by Semievil. The set included the Holy Armor of Or, the Sword of the Extraordinary Whoop-***, the Shield of the Smash'in and Bash'in and the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch[NeS1 5].

Weapons

NeSword

Main article: NeSword

TBA

Beam Sword

Main article: Beam Sword

Gebohq's earliest weapon was a beam sword, otherwise called a light sabre. The beam sword is a device that extends a beam of energy from it, which is able to slice through most solids[NeS1 1]. Morris the Cat, however, is unaffected by the energy beam and swallowed Gebohq's original sword[NeS1 7].

Other Items

Water Spritzer

For some unknown reason, Gebohq keeps a water spritzer with him which allows him to spray mists of water. He was able to use this specifically against Morris the Cat as the only 'weapon' capable of breaking the cat's defence[NeS1 7].

Relationships

Galvatron

See also: Galvatron

Gebohq and Galvatron demonstrate that they can work well together as well as spend relaxed time together[NeS1 1]. Gebohq has complete trust in Galvatron helping him out when asked[NeS1 8].

History

The Fight of the Century of the Week

See main article: The Fight of the Century of the Week

Gebohq Simon teamed up with his friend Galvatron, a robot with the ability to transform, to fight against Ares in the Arena of Ares' Colosseum. They were often outmatched by the God of War despite their best efforts, Galvatron using his transformation abilities while Gebohq tries to use his Story-wielding powers in the guise of the "Force". When DarkSide appeared in the arena he attacked Ares and the god was forced to side with Gebohq and Galvatron to battle the mysterious villain. DarkSide attempts to control Gebohq, through the darkness within him, and force him to fight his allies. After a lull in the writing, DarkSide is forgotten by the Writers and, instead, Rob X showed up to fight Ares one-on-one while Gebohq went to relax in the bleachers with Galvatron and Miss Fire[NeS1 1]. Arbiter flies into the colosseum to watch the fight alongside Gebohq[NeS1 9]. Ares then decides to change the rules of the tournament to keep things fresh. He changes to Tekken Tag Tournament[Ext 5] and tags in Gebohq in his place[NeS1 10]. Gebohq fights Rob X, his old friend, and is kicked into the snake pit. He jumps out again, using his force powers to help him. But he's distracted and hit by debris and calls for him mommy[NeS1 11]. After crying for her, Geb's Mom shows up and starts chastising them both for fighting until Rob X punts her out of the arena and they keep on fighting[NeS1 12]. Rob X tags in Enchilada Man[NeS1 13] but instead of fighting Gebohq, Enchilada Man flees in his spaceship the El Taco-Grande[NeS1 14]. Instead he finds himself fighting Arbiter[NeS1 15]. Arbiter and Gebohq begin parodying lines and fights from movies, which results in a sudden copyright claim against them[NeS1 16]. Arbiter, however, uses mind powers to force the movie company CEOs to walk away[NeS1 17]. As Gebohq and Arbiter keep fighting, Gebohq grows tired while, in the bleachers, Rob X uses corny lines to try and chat up Miss Fire[NeS1 18]. As he and Arbiter fight they are distracted by Geb's Girlfriend, who shouts her support for Gebohq from the bleachers. Arbiter comments on her bust size, which enrages Gebohq[NeS1 19]. Miss Fire, wanting to help Arbiter, resorts to the thing she knows best - guns. She aims a big gun at the two fighters, who are fighting in the bleachers, and urges them to return to the arena calmly[NeS1 20].

Suddenly, however, Rob X jumps from the bleachers and cuts off Gebohq's head - blaming him for giving Rob X corny lines earlier[NeS1 21]. Ares then pops up to chastise Rob X. Since he killed Gebohq the pay-per-view ratings have crashed. He makes Rob X reattach Gebohq's head. Gebohq then explains that he isn't responsible for the writings of the writers, even Gebohq the Writer. Rob X understands and asks that Gebohq the Writer let him choose his own lines and remove his ex-girlfriend. Gebohq the Writer obliges and suggests that he start picking on Antestarr instead[NeS1 22]. To resolve this problem Jerry Springer[Ext 6] sets up a show for them but Gebohq starts to verbally assault Arbiter and has to be restrained by security guards[NeS1 23]. After Jerry Springer is burnt to death, thanks to Antestarr, the arena transforms back and Gebohq turns to Arbiter with a serious conversation. They discuss the problem of the comet, which everyone has forgotten because of Ares' duels, which is bound for Earth and will destroy all life. Gebohq raises the question of Y2K but Arbiter initially dismisses it as nothing compared to the comet[NeS1 24]. Despite Arbiter's dismissive attitude of Y2K, as the new millennium passes over the world, the Y2K Beast emerges and, sensing heroes in the colosseum, charges in their direction[NeS1 25] but is eventually defeated by Arbiter[NeS1 26].

After acting as the deejay for the matches[NeS1 27], Gebohq was challenged to a duel by his friend Semievil but he had to tell Semievil that there was now a waiting list for matches[NeS1 28]. When Antestarr overheard Gebohq, Antestarr changed the rules of the arena tournament allowing multiple matches at once. He created three circles in the arena sand so that three duels could happen at once. He continued his own match with Justyn the Thread Killer while Gebohq and Semievil were to fight theirs. When Morris the Cat wanted a match, Antestarr just dismissed him[NeS1 29]. Semievil knocked Gebohq out using a large dictionary and then went off to help Morris the Cat find an opponent, leaving Gebohq unconscious[NeS1 30]. When Gebohq awoke, he saw Morris without a combat partner and proceeds to attack the cat with his lightsaber. Morris, however, ate the sabre. Gebohq revealed that he, as a Jedi, is never without a weapon and whipped out a water spritzer and started to chase Morris with the watery mist[NeS1 7]. When Semievil spotted Gebohq chasing Morris, Semievil decided to help the cat by throwing a knife into the bottle and relieving it of its liquid contents. He then proceeded to square off against Gebohq once again[NeS1 31]. Without the water spritzer and no weapon to face Semievil, Gebohq hunted down Morris again and managed to pull the heimlich manoeuvre[Ext 7] on the cat to get back his light sabre. The sabre, however, flew through the air and struck Justyn - putting Gebohq in even worse trouble[NeS1 32]. Seeing the danger he was in he decided to attempt to get a time out from the officials' board, but he was given a tremendous amount of paperwork for the task[NeS1 2]. After he accidentally set off an explosive in Justyn's face, Justyn began to chase Gebohq around the arena[NeS1 33] with the intention of banning him[NeS1 34]. Semievil saves Gebohq by placing a Gebohq mask upon Sundeep, former owner of the 7 Eleven, and tricks Justyn into attacking, and killing, Sundeep. Having used his power, Justyn is rendered vulnerable and flees[NeS1 35].

With Justyn dead soon thereafter, a battle broke out in the arena between rubber-duckies and Massassians. Gebohq, confronted by a gigantic Rubber Ducky, almost soils himself and runs off to the men's room. There he found the secret vent to what is now The Crow's Nest and joined The Otter up there, surrounded by porn. Otter, in a flamboyant speech, promises to grant the Crow's Nest (and it's porn) to Gebohq one day[NeS1 36]. When Gebohq puts a lampshade on his head and starts to dance[NeS1 37], Otter realises that he must have eaten the twinkies[Ext 8] he had been saving. He alleges that twinkies will become toxic after seven years and must be causing Gebohq to have hallucinations since they're over six years old now[NeS1 38]. Semievil finally finds Gebohq and bursts in on him and The Otter in the Crow's Nest[NeS1 39], he then runs out of the room when he sees the mountain of porn claiming his 'virgin eyes' but Gebohq sees through the trick to get him to run after Semievil and straight into hidden explosives[NeS1 40]. He is, however, still 'temporarily insane' from the years old twinkies and, after threatening to get his rubber ducky to fight Semievil, he falls out of the window of the Crow's Nest and into the bleachers where Rob X is sleeping. Gebohq murders Rob X, in the sight of several Characters and then heads towards Gonk[Ext 9] with the intention of killing it too[NeS1 41]. Before Gebohq could, however, Otter stops him and, instead, wants to kill the Gonk droid himself - which he does using his Vulcan Flame[NeS1 42]. Following a time paradox a group of Star Trek[Ext 10] nerds vanish and MaybeChild, who just arrived[NeS1 43], declares this, and the death of Rob X, to be a grand mystery worth solving. After Gebohq points out the obvious explanations of the time paradox and his own temporary insanity in killing Rob X, MaybeChild just wants an excuse for a Scooby-Doo[Ext 11] parody and so Gebohq becomes Shaggy[Ext 12][NeS1 44]. A monster chases them around in typical Scooby-Doo fashion[NeS1 45] until Antestarr traps it in a net and removes its mask to reveal Semievil. Before they could celebrate Raistlin Majere[Ext 13] bursts out of a lava pit and vows to take down a dragon, mistaking Galvatron as one[NeS1 46]. Semievil takes down Raistlin and tries to tie him up with banana peels[NeS1 47] but Raistlin tricks Semievil into allowing him to help and he manages to tie Semievil up instead. The other heroes are high on drugs and dance about like hippies until MaybeChild burns the banana peels to set Semievil free[NeS1 48]. Back in The Crow's Nest, Gebohq finally takes the lampshade off of his head, which he's been wearing since NeS1 Post 154, and Otter handed him a soft-core pornography magazine to read, featuring Laetitia Casta[Ext 14], which Otter knew Gebohq would like[NeS1 4]. Gebohq goes out-of-character for a brief moment when he decides to try to explain the science behind comedy to the Reader, but is revealed that he's trying subliminal messaging to get people to read the NeS[NeS1 49]. When he realised his documentary isn't going down well he decided he would do a game show instead, despite MaybeChild complaining his choice was boring[NeS1 50]. When Totallyevil unexpectedly arrived in the arena, she became the primary villain when she beheaded Grand Admiral Thrawn. In order to fight against Totallyevil, and her two henchmen, the NeS Heroes gathered in the arena again and transformed into character classes[Ext 3] from Dungeons & Dragons[Ext 4], giving them all new powers. Gebohq became a Paladin[Ext 2]. To quickly escape, The Otter used his druidic[Ext 15] powers to teleport them off of Ares' Colosseum and back to Earth, where they appeared at Stonehenge[NeS1 51].

Totallyevil

Main article: Totallyevil (Story Arc)

When they reached Stonehenge, Gebohq looked up to witness the comet smash into The Chimera and put an end to the Imperial threat. Unfortunately Totallyevil and her henchmen, Wolf and Farr, had also come through Otter's portal to Stonehenge. The heroes decided to sacrifice a Random Audience Member to the trio of evil to buy themselves time to make a plan[NeS1 52]. Semievil sought to gauge the strength of the enemy, so he conjured a fire-elemental with magical armour to tackle Farr. In just a single strike, Farr destroyed the elemental construct and Semievil warned that they would need to be much stronger to face this enemy. So the other heroes created a metal bunker and hide within it where they began to play card games[NeS1 53]. Seeing a stranger was about to be killed by Farr and Wolf, The Otter rescued Krig the Viking and brought him into the bunker[NeS1 54]. Eventually the heroes started to get bored while hiding in the bunker as they had a Nintendo 64[Ext 16] but with no games. They plan to go to the local Blockbuster[Ext 17] to get a game and Otter suggested they could pick up Killer Instinct 2[Ext 18] but Antestarr declared that the game sucked. Hearing the insult even from outside the bunker, Uncle Tusk smashed down the bunker's metal wall with his sword. Before he could rage further at Antestarr he spotted Krig as a fellow barbarian. When Krig said he wanted to eat a cat, Tusk, who hated cats, believed they'd be best friends and they left the bunker together. Through the gaping hole, the villains now leered inside with malicious grins[NeS1 55]. While Otter started to create another portal to escape, the heroes battled the villains. Gebohq faced Totallyevil but she made short work of the paladin shield he had. Semievil conjured a burning sword and shield for him but he didn't have time to use it as they were whisked through the portal to a redwood forest. Gebohq was then struck by a lightning bolt from a druid for trying to set fire to a redwood tree[NeS1 56].

The leader of the druids, Undramondiginonhafabigmajicthing, approached them because he heard they were battling Totallyevil. When he found out Semievil was Totallyevil's brother, he banished Semievil and the skeletal man vanished from the forest. He bestowed a quest upon the remaining heroes; to seek out the Porkus Malorkis, a powerful sword capable of defeating evil. Just then, however, Krig the Viking and Uncle Tusk burst onto the scene being chased by a hungry Morris the Cat[NeS1 3]. After Maybe complained that working with men was fruitless (which Gebohq was offended by, thinking he had been called fruity) she and Semievil conjured a new portal to return them to Stonehenge and fight with the villains. Maybe tackled Wolf by herself and managed to kill him[NeS1 57]. Gebohq and Semievil took on Totallyevil and her minions. Wearing the items given to him by Semievil, Gebohq was able to take on several monsters, including a skeleton that disintegrated at the merest touch upon his Armor of Or. He and Semievil were poisoned, however, and Totallyevil, imbued with the powers of a Necromancer[Ext 19], brought Wolf back from the dead. Semievil told MaybeChild she would have to bless the ground where the enemies fell or they would continue to rise[NeS1 58]. Krig the Viking decided that the Shield of Smash'in Bash'in that Gebohq used looked tasty and tried to eat it. Distracted by the viking, Totallyevil came up behind him and rendered him unconscious. In response, Uncle Tusk became enraged as he thought Gebohq was dead. Then, suddenly, everyone else collapsed into unconsciousness too[NeS1 59]. A moment later they all awoke and resumed their previous positions. Gebohq even ran into a tree head-first so that he would be unconscious again. During that time a gigantic Big Boy[Ext 20] fell from the sky and interrupted the ensuing battle[NeS1 6]. Seeing that the villains were distracted by the mysterious figure, Semievil cast an illusion over the heroes so that they would appear as rocks and could hide[NeS1 60]. As she couldn't find the heroes when disguised as boulders, she opted to go off with Farr to conquer the world. Dr Evil chose to go with them, though he mistook his daughter as a man. With them gone, Gebohq suggested that the heroes finally go questing for the Porkus Malorkis[NeS1 61].

Unfortunately Semievil couldn't remember the spell to turn them back to humans so they had to roll their way down the hill[NeS1 62]. Semievil grew frustrated and accidentally summoned a whole horde of Hellspawn. Then the rock spell wore off and left everyone exposed to the demonic enemies[NeS1 63]. The Otter takes care of the Arch Demon by sending it through a vortex, where it appears during the Canadian Parliament session and kills the representative of Quebec[NeS1 64].

Notes

Gebohq's Commentary

TBA

References

External References

  1. Laetitia Casta article, Wikipedia.
  2. 2.0 2.1 2.2 Paladin article, Dungeons & Dragons Wikia.
  3. 3.0 3.1 Character Class (Dungeons & Dragons) article, Wikipedia.
  4. 4.0 4.1 Dungeons & Dragons article, Wikipedia.
  5. Tekken Tag Tournament article, Wikipedia.
  6. Jerry Springer article, Wikipedia.
  7. Abdominal Thrusts article, Wikipedia.
  8. Twinkie article, Wikipedia.
  9. GNK power droid article, Wookieepedia.
  10. Star Trek article, Wikipedia.
  11. Scooby-Doo article, Wikipedia.
  12. Shaggy Rogers article, Wikipedia.
  13. Raistlin Majere article, Wikipedia.
  14. Laetitia Casta article, Wikipedia.
  15. Druid article, Dungeons & Dragons Wikia.
  16. Nintendo 64 article, Wikipedia.
  17. Blockbuster LLC article, Wikipedia.
  18. Killer Instinct 2 article, Wikipedia.
  19. Necromancer article, D&D Wiki.
  20. Big Boy article, Wikipedia.

Never-ending Story1 References

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