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Born during the 10th Century, Krig the Viking was frozen in ice until he was eventually thawed and released upon the modern world. Krig is a short, stout and hairy man that many have compared to fantasy dwarves and like those dwraves Krig wields a very big axe. Despite being a brute and barely capable of forming a complete sentence, Krig is also famous for being a Lawyer and is often called upon to save the Heroes of the Never-ending Story from Legal Doom. Krig is often used by the Writers of the NeS for comedic effect, particularly utilising Krig's insatiable appetite and willingness to eat anything he sees. Krig is not the only Vikinger to thaw out in the 21st Century as severalf of his friends also appeared in the United States of America on a Viking raid. Unfortunately most of them died during the Battle Over London. Yet being largely used for comedy relief, Krig also demonstrates that he is a true force to be reckoned with when it comes to battle and is capable of dishing out maximum carnage as well as take a great deal of damage that would otherwise render another human dead. He is also incredibly loyal - yet he is also easily manipulated and feelings of loyalty can be warped into feelings of betrayal. Krig's full name is Krig Krogson the Viking, Krogson referring to his father, Krog, who was killed and waited for Krig's arrival in Valhalla

Description

Appearance

TBA

Personality

Krig has something of a one track mind, able to think on one single problem at a time and become obsessed with it. This is especially true when he's hungry. To sooth his frequent hunger, he will often consume unorthodox foods such as cats[NeS1 1][NeS1 2]. Krig is often so unclean that his body odour may cause people to fall unconscious[NeS1 3].

Speech

Krig has a very unique speech pattern of simplistic grammar and relatively short sentences, as though speaking is a struggle for him. He will often speak in the third-person[NeS1 1].

Food

Krig is especially obsessed with eating, which includes many unorthodox foods such as cats[NeS1 1]. He also sees completely inorganic objects, such as a shield, as tasty and will gnaw on it aggressively. This frame of mind can occur even in the midst of a battle[NeS1 3]. He has been known to cannibalise[NeS1 4], though shortly thereafter he seemed to realise this was wrong[NeS1 5].

Talents

Eating Habits

Krig will attempt to eat many things that are not necessarily organic, making both his stomach and teeth very sturdy[NeS1 1][NeS1 3].

Possessions

Waraxe

Krig has a mighty waraxe that he can use in battle or hunting his next meal[NeS1 1].

Barbarian Equipment

During the early Pages of the Totallyevil Story Arc, most of the characters were given Dungeons & Dragons-style[Ext 1] Character Classes[Ext 2] and Krig was made a Barbarian[Ext 3]. This meant he was given Barbarian-like weapons by Semievil. They included the Axe of Remarkable Smack-Down-Laying, Nickle-Plated Sissy-Pistol, Shield of the Slain Prince of Nairb and Lightning-Struck Armor[NeS1 6].

History

Totallyevil

Main article: Totallyevil (Story Arc)

When the heroes of the Story had arrived at Stonehenge, they quickly conjured up a bunker to protect themselves from the three powerful villains; Totallyevil, Farr and Wolf. While Antestarr was attempting to fight with Farr, the other heroes were hiding inside the bunker. Krig the Viking emerged from the shadows in search of his next meal. Rather than getting involved, he went straight for Morris the Cat with his axe with hunger in his eyes[NeS1 1]. From inside the bunker, Semievil dragged Antestarr back in to safety. Instead, Farr's attention then focused upon Krig the Viking and called him a gnome. Krig, angry at being called a gnome, attacked Farr but his waraxe got stuck in Farr's thick aura of darkness. Krig was almost attacked by Wolf too but The Otter, while transformed into a cheetah, dragged Krig inside the bunker also. Wolf, however, was incredibly fast and managed to injure them both before they retreated, so they needed healing from MaybeChild[NeS1 7]. Eventually the heroes started to get bored while hiding in the bunker as they had a Nintendo 64[Ext 4] but with no games. They plan to go to the local Blockbuster[Ext 5] to get a game and Otter suggested they could pick up Killer Instinct 2[Ext 6] but Antestarr declared that the game sucked. Hearing the insult even from outside the bunker, Uncle Tusk smashed down the bunker's metal wall with his sword. Before he could rage further at Antestarr he spotted Krig as a fellow barbarian. When Krig said he wanted to eat a cat, Tusk, who hated cats, believed they'd be best friends and they left the bunker together. Through the gaping hole, the villains now leered inside with malicious grins[NeS1 2]. The heroes battled with the three villains but The Otter created a new portal to allow them to escape. They found themselves within the Redwood Forest[NeS1 8].

The leader of the druids, Undramondiginonhafabigmajicthing, approached them because he heard they were battling Totallyevil. When he found out Semievil was Totallyevil's brother, he banished Semievil and the skeletal man vanished from the forest. He bestowed a quest upon the remaining heroes; to seek out thhe Porkus Malorkis, a powerful sword capable of defeating evil. Just then, however, Krig the Viking and Uncle Tusk burst onto the scene being chased by a hungry Morris the Cat[NeS1 9]. Uncle Tusk and Krig leapt into the arms of The Otter for protection from the big, fat cat. Otter tried to be diplomatic and get the barbarians to apologise to Morris. Krig, however, couldn't restrain himself and he jumped at Morris in the hopes of eating the cat. Instead Morris ate Krig. After some cajoling, Otter got Morris to spit the viking back out, leaving Krig in a pool of saliva[NeS1 10]. Semievil came out after him, having been banished to the bottomless pit stomach of Morris, bearing many items he found within; including several items for Krig. Semievil then attacked the druids in vengeance for being banished[NeS1 6]. As a result the heroes were almost burnt alive[NeS1 11] but MaybeChild used a holy prayer to free them. She led the heroes back to Stonehenge to finally face the villains and she was able to kill Wolf[NeS1 12]. As Gebohq Simon battled against Totallyevil[NeS1 13] Krig suddenly leapt at him and started to gnaw on his Shield of the Smash'in Bash'in. When Gebohq managed to get Krig to let go, Totallyevil came up behind him and knocked him unconscious. Thinking Gebohq was dead, Uncle Tusk charged in for vengeance but suddenly everyone else, except him, was rendered unconscious either because of a magical spell or because of Krig's bad body odour[NeS1 3]. When they all awake several hours later, Krig is seen eating pieces of the remains of Wolf. The rest of the animated undead Wolf is tackled by MaybeChild and Semievil, followed by them taking down Totallyevil. They were unfortunately interrupted by the battle with Farr and everything came to a halt when a Big Boy[Ext 7] landed in their midst and Krig grew excited at the prospect of an all-you-can-eat-buffet[NeS1 4]. Krig then realised he was eating pieces of a man and found it distasteful[NeS1 5]. Seeing that the villains were distracted by the mysterious figure, Semievil cast an illusion over the heroes so that they would appear as rocks and could hide[NeS1 14]. Krig, however, soon got bored[NeS1 15] and asked Semievil to produce magical beer for him. He, and Uncle Tusk, then got drunk on the beer and stoned on mushrooms. As evening set in, the pair went up to Totallyevil who then used her powers to force them into wedding-dresses and a lot of make-up[NeS1 16]. As she couldn't find the heroes when disguised as boulders, she opted to go off with Farr to conquer the world. Dr Evil chose to go with them, though he mistook his daughter as a man. With them gone, Gebohq suggested that the heroes finally go questing for the Porkus Malorkis[NeS1 17].

As the heroes were leaving, Semievil accidentally summoned a host of demons[NeS1 18] while Krig and Uncle Tusk caught up to them[NeS1 19].

References

External References

  1. Dungeons & Dragons article, Wikipedia.
  2. Character Class (Dungeons & Dragons) article, Wikipedia.
  3. Barbarian article, D&D Wiki.
  4. Nintendo 64 article, Wikipedia.
  5. Blockbuster LLC article, Wikipedia.
  6. Killer Instinct 2 article, Wikipedia.
  7. Big Boy article, Wikipedia.

Never-ending Story 1 References

  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 NeS1 Post 234, NeS1 Page 6, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Krig the Writer.
  2. 2.0 2.1 NeS1 Post 236, NeS1 Page 6, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  3. 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 NeS1 Post 244, NeS1 Page 7, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Krig the Writer.
  4. 4.0 4.1 NeS1 Post 245, NeS1 Page 7, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by MaybeChild the Writer.
  5. 5.0 5.1 NeS1 Post 246, NeS1 Page 7, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Krig the Writer.
  6. 6.0 6.1 NeS1 Post 240, NeS1 Page 7, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  7. NeS1 Post 235, NeS1 Page 6, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  8. NeS1 Post 237, NeS1 Page 6, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  9. NeS1 Post 238, NeS1 Page 6, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Krig the Writer.
  10. NeS1 Post 239, NeS1 Page 6, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Otter the Writer.
  11. NeS1 Post 241, NeS1 Page 7, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  12. NeS1 Post 242, NeS1 Page 7, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by MaybeChild the Writer.
  13. NeS1 Post 243, NeS1 Page 7, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  14. NeS1 Post 247, NeS1 Page 7, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  15. NeS1 Post 252, NeS1 Page 7, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Krig the Writer.
  16. NeS1 Post 253, NeS1 Page 7, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  17. NeS1 Post 254, NeS1 Page 7, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Krig the Writer.
  18. NeS1 Post 225, NeS1 Page 7, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  19. NeS1 Post 261, NeS1 Page 7, Totallyevil (Story Arc), Never-ending Story 1 written by Krig the Writer.