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NeS Page 3
Never-ending Story
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NeS Page 2 | NeS Page 4
Story Arc The Fight of the Century of the Week
Associated Story Arcs TBA
Writers New Writers

Major Writers

Minor Writers

Characters New Characters

Major Characters

Minor Characters


"Page 3" usually refers to NeS Page 3 of the original Never-ending Story, however it may also refer to NeS2 Page 3, the sequel to the original NeS. NeS Page 3 opens with the Character named Arbiter as he battles the Y2K creature over a pizza. Antestarr is seeking retribution against Miss Fire who accidentally unleashed a horde of blobs upon Antestarr's Secret Warehouse. Twin Suns mistakes the two of them for Villains of the NeS and attacks - all of which is halted when Grand Admiral Thrawn drops a squadron of Rabbit Walkers into the Arena to destroy the NeS Heroes. The Page also introduces two of the NeS' most famous characters - Semievil and The Otter.

History

Battle

NeS Page three opens where NeS Page 2 had left off - the rampage of the Y2K beast. The Y2K beast was a joke about the paranoia of society over the Year 2000 Problem[1]concerning issues of computers switching over after the new millenium began. After the Y2K beast enters in the last post of Page 2 [2] Arbiter is happy to receive a pizza that he'd ordered off-screen. The pizza is delivered by a space ship from the well known pizza chain company, Papa John's [3]. However disaster strikes when the Y2K beast intervenes in Arbiter's dinner;


 *Without warning, the Y2K beast devours the pizza boxes, their contents, the delivery boy, the craft, and a random mime who had managed to wander in from nowhere.*[4]


Arbiter is angered by this and, for the first time, demonstrates his ability to become "Super Saiyan". Arbiter is a merge of pop culture icons Saiyans, from the television anime Dragon Ball[5], and a Sith Lord[6], from the Star Wars[7] movies. Saiyans have the capability to become "Super Saiyan" - an ability that allows them to become even more powerful and as a physical representation of this change, their hair will become yellow. Arbiter becomes Super Saiyan in his rage and he attacks the Y2K beast. [8] Meanwhile Antestarr had arrived at the Arena seeking revenge against Miss Fire for sending a horde of blobs to attack him in his Secret Warehouse. [9] He and Miss Fire enter a duel using Antestarr's specially designed Lightfoils

Arbiter abruptly ceases his fight with the Y2K creature as he claims, "Wait a sec, I have a BS detector!" [10] As the Y2K creature is a symbol of paranoia of 1999, many believes that the incident was a lie stirred up by the media. Thus Arbiter the Writer presented his own view through the use of his character by detecting that the Y2K creature was a lie, causing it to disappear.

Arbiter then demands that Antestarr and Miss Fire wait their turn as the battles are still being run on a tag-in system. However as he fights Gebohq Simon he realises that Gebohq is no longer fighting fit as he's already battled with Rob X previously. [11] Thus Arbiter and Gebohq return to the bleachers and allow Antestarr and Miss Fire to continue their match. Gebohq falls asleep, along with Rob X who had been sleeping for some time already. [12] However as Antestarr and Miss Fire fight another sleeping Hero wakes up - Twin Suns. Apparently his sleep was induced by drinking too much alcohol and when he awakes Twin Suns is disorientated and confused. He sees the two battling and believes them to be evil Sith Lords, prompting his attack upon them. As he rushes at them he throws two thermal detonators[13], another Star Wars reference, at them. [14] After colliding with Antestarr [15] the three of them, Twin Suns, Antestarr and Miss Fire, begin to toss the thermal detonators to each other like hot potato. Fortunately Morris the Cat, a cat with a bottomless pit stomach, takes an interest and swallows the explosives. The explosives detonate within Morris, creating a comical widening of his stomach and smoke from his ears. Despite all attempts to be reasonable with the drunk, Twin Suns managed to be rude to both Antestarr and Miss Fire enough to get them riled at him. [16] The two of them beat Twin Suns up and send him crashing into the sleeping Gebohq, who is finally woken up as he exclaims "Great Scott!!"[17] in a pop culture reference to the Back to the Future[18] franchise. Twin Suns gets up and prepares to attack the other two heroes [19] but is interrupted by the arrival of the Rabbit Walkers.[20]


Rabbit Walkers and Monty Phython

In space, orbiting above the Earth, is the character Admiral Thrawn who is inserted from the Star Wars franchise. Thrawn is pouring out his feelings to one of his soldiers, upset because he was unable to destroy the Earth due to the arranged battles in the Arena by the God of War Ares. Thrawn decided to now ignore Ares and send down the only mechanical squadron available to him - the Rabbit Walkers.[21] Watching the televised Arena battles JK Meteor sees the Rabbit Walkers arrive and decided he must warn the Heroes in the Arena - why he was able to see these walkers on the televised Arena battles, but the heroes could not, was never explained. [22] In response Twin Suns is able to, somehow, open a dimensional gateway - which may, or may not, be a Plot Hole - and teleports the cast from Monty Python[23], another pop culture reference, into the Arena.[24] Miss Fire hands out powerful guns to use against the Rabbit Walkers and the three heroes, Miss Fire, Antestarr and Twin Suns, proceed to destroy the Rabbit Walkers one-by-one. [25] However is the Monthy Python cast that finish off the Rabbit Walkers by using the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch[26] from the Monty Python movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail[27] However the cast also accidentally blow themselves up along with the Rabbit Walkers, resulting in a great deal of anger from Twin Suns, who then leads Miss Fire and Antestarr to his space ship named the Red Talon[28]


Clones and Massassians

As Ares Arena battles are televised, he is subject to the whims and demands of his audience. He received a call from the CEO of his network who informed Ares that the audience wish to see him participating in battles again. [29] In response Ares first zaps the CEO through the phone line, and then addresses his audience by creating a clone of himself. [30]

When the three NeS Heroes, Twin Suns, Antestarr and Miss Fire, ascend into space they discover that Thrawn and his military are all gone. We zip-pan to Thrawn and he claims, "I can't miss teh Superbowl! Someone pass the chips."[31] With nothing else to do the heroes return to the Arena where they are greeted by Ares' Clone. Ares' Clone is physically similar to the original Ares, however his voice is completely monotone. Somehow the three heroes instantly knew that this was a clone and not the original, though this is never explained.[32]

The Never-ending Story is hosted on the Massassi Temple forum. Because of this the Massassi posters are sometimes featured as characters in the NeS, or Story Realm, or as characters in the Writers' Realm where they interact with the Writers of the NeS. Massassi itself is often referred to as Massassi Offices where all 'departments' of Massassi exist. The first reference to this is done on Page 3 when the administrators and moderators of the Massassi Temple forums arrives in the Arena as VIP audience members. One of the VIPs is named Justyn and is considered a "thread killer" and therefore a negative element within the NeS and possible villain-character.[33] Antestarr faces off against Justyn in a cowboy duel. He also reveals that he lives in his secret warehouse and that it is located in an asteroid belt that he alone lives in.[34]

Briefly Enchilada Man returns to the Arena to sell his enchiladas. Enchilada Man uses his pet dewback[35], another Star Wars reference, to transport a cart of Mexican foodstuffs into the Arena. However a firefight breaks out and, in response, Enchilada Man uses his Big Burrito Blaster and starts to spray everyone with "bean bullets", cheeze and hot sauce. He fires at everyone, except for Miss Fire because, "*[...] she is a good friend of his with a frequent buyer coupon.* " [36] In future Pages of the NeS we will learn that Miss Fire is actually the sister of Enchilada Man, not just a friend or a frequent buyer, despite that Enchilada Man is of Mexican ethnicity whilst Miss Fire is a blonde white woman. In the confusion of the firefight Enchilada Man rides his dewback, whose name is Rex, back to the El Taco-Grande, Enchilada Man's spaceship, and they fly away from the Arena once again.[37]

Gebohq the Writer then takes the story to a new location in the United States of America and looks at a character called Lightstaff. This was an exposition post designed to help new Writers understand the current plot - which began before NeS Page 1 in an entirely separate thread on the Massassi Temple forum. The character Lightstaff, who is depicted as an old man, tells how he began the Never-ending Story and refers to the imminent doom of the Earth via a meteor. However he then proceeds to tell his grandchildren that the meteor was all part of a plan by Thrawn to conquer the Earth. The French attempted to destroy the meteor with nuclear weapons but their weapons were poor quality and failed to destroy the meteor. However Thrawn's plan was interrupted by Ares, God of War, who wished to challenge everyone in his Arena - putting Thrawn's schemes on hold. The expositionary post ends with Lightstaff telling his grandchildren to go and watch the events unfold on the television.[38]


Enter Semievil

Ares' Clone reads off a roll call in his monotonous voice and briefly mentions Rob X and almost forgotten character Ping. [39] It is then that Semievil enters the NeS. Semievil is a character heavily influenced by computer games and often uses gaming themes as solutions to problems within the NeS. His appearance is particularly memorable as he is a kind of sci-fi skeleton. When Semievil first arrives, the Narrator mentions that he is being dredged up from two computer games, one being Everquest[40] and the other is called Tribes.[41] When Semievil appears he finds "himself before a great arena"[42] and, upon entering he begins shooting everyone. He then reached back into the world he had previously come from, that of Everquest, and uses a powerful spell from that world - an ice comet that is described as, "[...] instantly killing all audience members and combatants within [...]"[43]. Fortunately for those within the real Arena, this arena is actually another stadium within the U.S.A. After destroying this stadium and killing all of its occupants, Semievil changes the "level", like a computer game, so that he appears outside of Ares' Arena. [44] None of the combatants responded to Semievil's arrival, which angered him and in retaliation he decides to stir up trouble. He then placed explosives on all of the downed Rabbit Walkers that Miss Fire had dealt with and blew them up. He then replaced Ares' Clone's reading material from teh roll call to a dictionary. Finally he begins to make lewd gestures at everyone, trying to get attention.[45] Finally he mooned the audience until one Random Audience Member shouted at Semievil to get out of the way. Semievil uses Force Choke[46], a power from Star Wars, to kill the Random Audience Member. This finally resulted in some attention, though the other audience members seem to be more interested in Semievil's origins rather than the fact he just murdered one of their number. Semievil approached Gebohq Simon, who he claimed to be an old friend, and challenged him to a battle. Gebohq revealed that there's a waiting list due to the rules of the Arena. In the bleachers, Ares' Clone was still reading the dictionary that Semievil had given him and Arbiter grows angry. Arbiter then noticed Semievil and remarks, " "[...] It's semievil! Wonder if he's related to Dr. Evil. Need to talk to him about the evil world leader organization's next meeting..." "[47] Why Aribiter wonders about the relationship between Semievil and Dr Evil is unclear, though it may be possible that Arbiter was informed by rumour prior to this post. This is the first mention of Dr Evil, he is later introduced on Page ?. (citation needed) Arbiter's mention of the Evil World Leader Organisation may not be apparant until much later in the NeS. (citation needed).

Overhearing Gebohq's conversation with Semievil, Justyn complained about the rules. Antestarr agreed and decided it was time to change them. He created several circles in the Arena sand and all of the combatants must pair up within their circles and battle to the end. Gebohq entered a circle with Semievil whilst Antestarr stands within a circle against Justyn.[48]

Over the course of the NeS many Massassians have attempted to "end the NeS" with a single line or two about some world-shattering catastrophe. The first instance occured on Page 3;


"And than I giant meteor came out of no where, and blew everyone into oblivion like the dinosaurs...

THE END[49]


Ultimately the list of Massassians that tried to end the NeS is long and can be found on the NeS Killers List. In response to the attempt Semievil333 the Writer makes an in-story reaction to JASRCC_Uber0010, the poster. Semievil kills JASRCC_Uber0010 and then feeds him to Morris the Cat.[50]

The fight between Gebohq and Semievil goes in Gebohq's favour and Gebohq demonstrates an unusually evil quality as he borders villainhood. It is possible that this period of NeS history had no official NeS Heroes and Gebohq would only become the Main Character later. (citation needed) However Gebohq is also a highly adaptable character that swings across broad spectrums of characterisations to suit his environment or narrative leads. Gebohq was taken down before could kill Semievil when Morris the Cat borrowed Ares' Clone's dictionary and threw it at Gebohq's head. Semievil made reference to Bernard the Cyber-Pidgeon as a possible rival for Morris the Cat to battle with but Morris turns Semievil down.[51] Seeing that Morris wishes to enter the battles, Gebohq decided to duel him. However Morris ate Gebohq's Lightsabre.[52] In order to win their duel Gebohq uses a cat's greatest enemy - a water spritzer. Gebohq won the duel when Morris walked off, offended by the spraying water. [53] When Semievil realised Morris lost his duel against Gebohq, Semievil turned around to duel Gebohq again. [54]

At the end of Page 3 a new character arrived in the Arena - The Otter. He arrived in his 1974 Volkswagen Beetle (based upon the real 1974 Volkswagen Bettle[55]), which was improved with rocket boosters, when he heard some of his friends were battling in the Arena, though it is unclear who his friends are at this stage. It would be revealed that they are ...? (citation needed) He is described as "*[...] wearing black jeans, 'rage' t-shirt, black trenchcoat, combat boots, black bowler, and a mysterious black medic's bag slung over his shoulder.*"[56] When Otter saw all of the destruction in the Arena he decided he would make a hasty retreat, but realised he left he car keys in the car.[57]

References

  1. Year 2000 problem article, Wikipedia.
  2. Post #80, NeS Page 2 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  3. Papa John's Pizza article, Wikipedia.
  4. Post #81, NeS Page 3 written by Antestarr the Writer.
  5. Dragon Ball article, Wikipedia.
  6. Sith article, Wikipedia.
  7. Star Wars article, Wikipedia.
  8. Post #81, NeS Page 2 written by Antestarr the Writer.
  9. Post #68, NeS Page 2 Written by Antestarr the Writer.
  10. Post #82, NeS Page 3 written by Arbiter the Writer.
  11. Post #50, NeS Page 2 written by RobX the Writer.
  12. #Post 86, NeS Page 3 written by RobX the Writer.
  13. Thermal detonator article, Wookiepedia
  14. Post #88, NeS Page 3 written by Twin Suns the Writer.
  15. Post #89, NeS Page 3 written by Miss_Fire the Writer.
  16. Post #90, NeS Page 3 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  17. Post #90, NeS Page 3 written by Antestarr the Writer.
  18. Back to the Future article, Wikipedia.
  19. Post #94, NeS Page 3 written by Twin Suns the Writer.
  20. Post #95, NeS Page 3 written by Gebohq the Writer,
  21. Post #95, NeS Page 3 written by Gebohq the Writer,
  22. Post #96, NeS Page 3 written by JK Meteor the Writer.
  23. Monty Python article, Wikipedia.
  24. Post #97, NeS Page 3 written by Twin Suns the Writer.
  25. Post #98, NeS Page 3 written by Miss_Fire the Writer.
  26. Rabbit of Caerbannog article, Wikipedia
  27. Monty Python and the Holy Grail article, Wikipedia.
  28. Post #100, NeS Page 3 written by Twin Suns the Writer.
  29. Post #103, NeS Page 3 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  30. Post #104, NeS Page 3 written by Ares the Writer.
  31. Post #105, NeS Page 3 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  32. Post #105, NeS Page 3 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  33. Post #106, NeS Page 3 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  34. Post #107, NeS Page 3 written by Antestarr the Writer.
  35. Dewback article, Wookiepedia.
  36. Post #108, NeS Page 3 written by Enchilada_Man the Writer.
  37. Post #108, NeS Page 3 written by Enchilada_Man the Writer.
  38. Post #109, NeS Page 3 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  39. Post #110, NeS Page 3 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  40. Everquest article, Wikipedia.
  41. Tribes (series) article, Wikipedia.
  42. Post #111, NeS Page 3 written by Semievil333 the Writer.
  43. Post #111, NeS Page 3 written Semievil333 the Writer.
  44. Post #111, NeS Page 3 written Semievil333 the Writer.
  45. Post #112, NeS Page 3 written Semievil333 the Writer.
  46. Telekinesis article, Wookiepedia.
  47. Post #113, NeS Page 3 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  48. Post #114, NeS Page 3 written by Antestarr the Writer.
  49. Post #115, NeS Page 3 written by NeS Killers List.
  50. Post #116, NeS Page 3 written by Semievil the Writer.
  51. Post #117, NeS Page 3 written by Semievil the Writer.
  52. Lightsaber article, Wookiepedia.
  53. Post #118, NeS Page 3 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  54. Post #119, NeS Page 3 written by Gebohq the Writer.
  55. Volkswagen Beetle article, Wikipedia.
  56. Post #120, NeS Page 3 written by TheOtter the Writer.
  57. Post #120, NeS Page 3 written by TheOtter the Writer.

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