The Plothole
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Pan Post 85 takes place in the God-Monarch Middle Ground where Ameryl Hypericum has called a meeting of all twelve God-Monarchs so that they might compete and practice for the true battle against Highemperor. Though many have reservations about the contest they are all nonetheless paired off against each other. Din, unable to restrain herself, attacks her opponent, The Shard, immediately but is placated with turnips by Chimaat. Instead Typhon, the Ur-Dragon, is to take on The Ascension first and the pair make their way to the arena whilst the rest of the God-Monarchs sit in the audience.

Post[]

To Prepare for War with Highemperor: Setup[]

Setting: Some pocket dimension parallel to the NeSiverse, where an iridescent ocean spreads endlessly below a color-negative of a clear night sky. An ancient and ruinous limestone platform juts from the ocean with stadium-style bench seating capping its top. Underneath the seating, carved in an almost cavernous fashion, a lobby area with highly ornate ceilings curving up to points acts as a hub between magical entranceways outside the pocket dimension, stairs leading up to the benched seating, and out onto an arena ground hung over the ocean. Apart from the ocean waves, the ruinous stage known as the God-Monarch Middle Ground stood quiet.

Quiet, that is, until the God-Monarchs themselves begin filtering into the lobby.

Lo: "So which one of you scallywags interrupted my harem time? I need to know who to punch in the face first."

A dog-sized Typhon shakes the structure with every step as he lumbers his way to the platform for space. He apparently didn't find condensing his size four orders of magnitude denser than his usual mountainous size comfortable.

Typhon: "Not before I bite their head off for having us meet at our Middle Ground! This place hardly has doorways fit for a human!"

Dave: *looking back at the doorway twice his size* "It fit well enough for me."

As Typhon exhales on the arena ground itself, he allows his bloated self to grow to only three orders of magnitude smaller than his usual mountainous size - still easily the size of a blue whale or any "normal" dragon.

Yannah: "I think it's nice for us to get together every now and then, just ourselves, for a little fun."

Zhuge and Neith: "Hmph!"

The two glance at each other with curiosity.

Din: "Din was told there would be fighting, big booms, and shiny. WHERE'S SHINY?"

Minos: "Who told you that?"

Chimaat: "I think I know who..."

Last to enter, Imeryn Iristatice Floranymae Hypericum draws everyone's attention to her -- no mere feat when done among attention-seeking God-Monarchs. While identical to her twin sister, Ameryl, Imeryn chose long ago to accentuate the purple in her hair (now whipping to her side like a shampoo commercial), while her sister opted to accentuate the pink in hers. Compared to many of the other God-Monarchs, she stands relatively small among them, though not short for a human woman. She brushes her flowery princess dress and clears her throat.

Imeryn: "Yes, I brought you all here today, and with good reason! We will need to make our move on Highemperor soon enough, and who better to practice our fight against him than ourselves, right?"

Zhuge and Neith: "I'm out of here--"

The two glance at each other again, the curiosity growing stronger between the two. Imeryn seems to take no notice.

Imeryn: "So I took it upon myself to set up a little friendly tournament between us."

Din: "And winner gets shiny?"

Imeryn: "Yes, Din, I even brought a one-of-a-kind trophy for our fun team-building competition. Of course, the real prize will be when we take Highemperor's head."

Vedas Khaan: "I'm not with this paltry alliance for games and trinkets--"

Din: "Bad man can't have have shiny! Shiny is for the best. Din is limitless. Limitless is best. Din is best. Din will have shiny."

The man walks up to Din and looks down into her eyes, making the giant golden goddess seem average height compared to him.

Vedas Khaan: "On second thought, I could use a diversion..."

Imeryn: "It's settled then! Everyone will pair off, and we'll proceed with a single elimination. That does mean we'll need a three-way near the end--"

Minos: "A three-way, you say?"

Imeryn: "Not like that, you animal!"

Minos: "In my harem, three is a minimum--"

Imeryn: "You'll be facing off with Vedas first, Horn-head!"

The alitaur shifts his eyes towards Vedas Khaan, who stares back with orbs of pooling blood for eyes. For the briefest of moments, Minos frets, but quickly composes himself.

Minos: "Pfft, thanks. I could use a warm-up..."

Zhuge: "I'll have my first match with Neith."

Surprise hits Imeryn, even moreso when she sees Neith nod in agreement.

Imeryn: "Well isn't this a treat?"

Din: "DIN FIGHT GHOST MAN!"

Dave: "Uh, ghost-man? Who's she talking about?"

Imeryn: "As you wish, dear, you can fight The Shard--hey now!"

Din immediately starts wailing on The Shard with razor claws, tearing up the fabric of the universe in the process. The Shard, taller still than Vedas, clearly has difficulty dodging her attacks.

Zhuge: "Will this be it this time, I wonder..."

Imeryn: "Din, stop! I ord--"

Din immediately turns her attention to Imeryn, fury in her eyes.

Imeryn "--inarily would ask you to wait until it was your turn..."

To her credit, Imeryn remains composed while Din teeters on the edge of ripping all of existence into a finely-graded cheese. Chimaat approaches Din's side, and holds a turnip up to her.

Chimaat: "Would you like a snack?"

Din readies to slash Chimaat's head off--

--but instead plucks the turnip from her hand with a gentle smile.

Din: "YUM!"

Nibbling on the turnip, Din makes her way up the stairs into the seating.

Dave: "...so I already forgot, is Din fighting a turnip?"

Typhon: "I will pit my strength against the daughter of Imer--"

Chimaat: "Match me with Dave please, mother."

Imeryn: "Of course, my little flower. Does a certain someone have a crush on the boy?"

Dave: "Who? What?"

Typhon: "I clearly claimed first!"

Imeryn: "Do not presume to claim my daughter, Typhon!"

Typhon: "That's not what I meant!"

Dave: "Let the dragon have his turn! In fact, I should probably just sit out altogether, uh, because I don't want to hurt anybody of course..."

Imeryn: "Don't be preposterous, Dave! It's only fitting that the two strongest of our fold should pair up! Strongest aside from myself, of course, don't you forget."

She winks at Dave and nudges him, which sends him nearly falling over. Typhon and a number of the other God-Monarchs grumble about being considered anything less than the mightiest among themselves.

Typhon: "Very well... Ascension! You're the only one among us larger than even myself. I challenge you!"

A wind filled with glittering-yet-scarred petals picks up through the foyer and out into the arena ground, where Typhon stands. Everyone can hear when the Ascension speaks, yet the voices (for it sounds like many voices) appear more than are heard in the minds of them all, in an alien fashion despite clarity clearer than their own thoughts.

The Ascension: "Only in number, Great Ur-Dragon. We accept with honored reluctance."

Lo: "I'll take you on then, Miss Tin Can!"

Yannah: "Perhaps you'll learn your place this time, meatbag."

Neith: "And I wonder who will be your opponent, Imeryn."

Imeryn: "Oh don't be absurd, Neith. Clearly, I'm mediating this tournament, as I outmatch you all by far."

The grumbles are heard from certain God-Monarchs once more, though Neith simply grits a grin.

Neith: "You can prop yourself with words, if you wish. I will show who among us will be key in Highemperor's downfall with my actions."

Imeryn glowers at Neith, then smiles insincerely herself.

Imeryn: "I'll fight the winner myself, if they so wish it, but they get to keep the trophy regardless. It wouldn't feel right to give myself my own trophy, after all."

Unease hangs above the heads of the God-Monarchs, for times like this make apparent their tenuous alliance. Chimaat breaks the tension by speaking up to Din in the stands.

Chimaat: "Would you like to take your turn now, Din?"

Din: "Take turn for what?"

Chimaat: "To have your fight with The Shard."

Din: "Who?"

Chimaat: "Nevermind! Please enjoy your turnip!"

Din: "MORE TURNIP! CHIA-MAT GIVE DIN MORE TURNIP!"

Chimaat: "I'll be right up!"

Imeryn: "Typhon, why don't you two go first, since you're already out there?"

Typhon only huffs in response through his nostrils. The rest of the God-Monarchs, minus the Ascension, make their way to the seating above. Once everyone's seated, Imeryn rings a gong by her side.

Imeryn: "Begin!"

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