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The Fight of the Century of the Week
Never-ending Story1
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Pre-NeS | Totallyevil (Story Arc)
Pages 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Associated Story Arcs Totallyevil (Story Arc) | The Fight of the Century of the Week Part 2
Writers AntestarrTW | ArbiterTW | AresTW | Enchilada_ManTW | GalvatronTW | GebohqTW | MaybeChildTW | Miss_FireTW | SemievilTW | TheOtterTW | Twin SunsTW
Characters Antestarr | Arbiter | Ares | DarkSide | Enchilada Man | Galvatron | Gebohq Simon | Grand Admiral Thrawn | Maybelle Child | Miss Fire | Morris the Cat | Rob X | Semievil | Twin Suns | The Otter


The very first story arc of the Never-ending Story, The Fight of the Century of the Week sets the benchmark for all subsequent story arcs of the NeS and introduces a great number of recurring themes and troupes that are signature to the NeS franchise. As the story arc begins with NeS Page 1 all Characters introduced are new to the story and especially introduces characters that constantly frequent the NeS storyline including Gebohq Simon, Ares, Antestarr and The Otter. The arc revolves around "epic", at least subjectively epic, battles that take place within the Arena that have been staged by Ares, the God of War. Yet another villain, who also guides a major story element, of the arc is Admiral Thrawn who wished to exterminate the populace of Earth, to make conquest much easier, by dropping an asteroid upon it. Although this is considered the first, and primary, story arc of the NeS there is known to be Pre-NeS history. This arc ends with the arrival of Totallyevil, the eponymous villain of the Totallyevil Story Arc.

Page 1

     Main article: NeS Page 1

Opening Action

A great many NeS tropes were formed on Page 1, as well as the introduction of many important Characters that would feature in many Story Arcs to come. However this period also had much less structure or coherence than later pages and many of the Writers were unable to distinguish between their personal choices and their characters'.

Page 1 of the Never-ending Story opened with Ares, the God of War, in combat against two of our protagonists Gebohq Simon and Galvatron. Gebohq would go on to become the Main Character for many future story arcs and is often considered a 'loveable fool'.(citation needed) Galvatron was a Robot and good friend of Gebohq's, able to transform into various different 'forms'(citation needed). Ares, being a Greek God, is capable of a vast array of incredible powers(citation needed). Ares had issued a challenge to all Characters of the NeS to enter his Arena, situated in an active volcano, to battle for honour and glory.[1] All the while Ares was selling the rights to the matches as pay-per-view and he had to continuously try to spice things up to keep his ratings high, though that wouldn't be revealed until Page 2[2].

Many other Characters would be attracted to the chaos including a major villain for the NeS named DarkSide. Though his tenure in this story arc was relatively short, DarkSide would reappear time and time again in future arcs. DarkSide was also the first true villain of the NeS. Ares, though an antagonist, was not strictly a villain. Another character, JM, appeared disguised as Zeus so that he could trick Ares into giving up the fight and return to Mount Olympus.[3] However JM would not return until many pages later (citation needed).


Attack of the Blobs

Rob X joined the battle and engaged in combat with Ares, allowing Gebohq and Galvatron to relax in the bleachers.[4] Sometime after she arrived, Miss Fire accidentally caused a sudden infestation of Blobs[5] which multiplied drastically when attacked[6]. Miss Fire corrected her mistake by luring the blobs out of the Arena with popcorn.[7]

Towards the end of Page 1 the characters Twin Suns arrived and was also killed by Rob X when he mistook Twin Suns for Ares.[8] Arbiter, an immensely powerful being with a penchant for music (citation needed), arrived shortly after Twin Suns. However, unlike Twin Suns, Arbiter chose to join Gebohq and Miss Fire in the bleachers.[9] However, as the Page ends, Arbiter is embroiled in combat with the Undead.[10]

Page 2

     Main article: NeS Page 2

Competitive Writing

During this stage in writing the Writers were still writing competively, instead of cooperatively. Bug the Writer consistently tried to have the character Arbiter killed off by undead zombies[11], while Arbiter the Writer would act in opposition to Bug the Writer's posts.[12] Likewise RobX the Writer kept waiting for Ares the Writer to write a confrontational post opposing Ares to Rob X the character instead of taking direct control of the entire narrative himself.[13] It did, however, lead Rob X to create one of the most recurring minor characters in all of the NeS - Morris the Cat.[14] This Page may also include the first example of a character interacting with the Narrator, though at this stage there may be little difference between the Writer himself and the Narrator.[15]


Enchiladas & Business

Enchilada Man, an enchilada vendor from the planet Espa-nol, arrived in the Arena eager to sell his wares.[16] He headed straight for Miss Fire to sell her enchiladas, however it would much later be revealed that they were actually brother and sister. (citation needed) He doesn't stay for long, however, as he fled from combat and retreated to his spaceship the El-Taco Grande.[17] He would, however, make frequent reappearances throughout The Fight of the Century or the Week Story Arc. It is revealed that Ares is running a business off of the Arena fights, selling pay-per-views.[18]


Danger Looms

A brief glimpse into the true 'plot' behind the arc was given when Grand Admiral Thrawn is first introduced into the Never-ending Story thread. However his exact plan remained unrevealed, though it did suggest that he had some prior plot that was being disturbed by Ares' Arena games.[19] Antestarr joined on Page 2 after the Blobs from NeS Page 1 burst into Antestarr's Secret Warehouse chasing the popcorn that Miss Fire had thrown.[20] The Page ended with the arrival of the Y2K Beast.[21]

Page 3

     Main article: NeS Page 3

Battle & Rabbit Walkers

The Y2K Beast is made short work of by Arbiter.[22] After waking from a drunken stupor, Twin Suns attacked Antestarr and Miss Fire - believing them to be villains - and threw Thermal Detonators[23] at them.[24] Fortunately Morris the Cat, who has a bottomless pit for a stomach, ate the thermal detonars where they harmlessly exploded save for the smoke coming from Morris' ears.[25]

The confusion between Twin Suns, Antestarr and Miss Fire threatened to escalate but the arrival of the Rabbit Walkers drew their attention. Having grown annoyed by Ares interference in his plan, Thrawn sent down the only mechanical squad available to him.[26] The three of them are able to deal with the Rabbit Walkers with some help from the characters from Monty Python and the Holy Grail[27] who manage to blow up the Rabbit Walkers and themselves.[28]


Clones & Massassians

After being threatened by the CEO of the pay-per-view company,[29] Ares created a clone of himself to act in the Arena matches.[30]

The Massassians of the Massassi Temple Offices arrive in the Story Realm as special VIPs to watch the matches. One of these, however, is Justyn - often known as "The Thread Killer". He is instantly labelled as a villain.[31]

The character LightStaff is used to give exposition about the storyline and explain what Grand Admiral Thrawn was up to. LightStaff revealed that Thrawn intended to plunge an asteroid into the Earth to weaken its populace and make the planet easier to conquer. However the plan was put on hold due to the challenge made by Ares, God of War, who wanted fighters in his Arena.[32]


Enter Semievil

When Semievil, a skeletal figure with a streak of evil in him, entered the Arena he eventually found Gebohq who he claimed to be an old friend. However he decided to challenge Gebohq,[33] this would lead to a long rivalry between the two of them despite they supposedly being friends beforehand. At this stage there is the first true instance of NeS Thread Killers when someone attempted to end the NeS with a single post (and not being an active Writer).[34]

The final post of Page 3 introduces the all new character The Otter, a steampunk alcoholic Brit, who would go on to be one of the most popular of all NeS Characters. The Otter arrived expecting to meet with his friends, though it's unclear who exactly that is, but tried to beat a hasty retreat when he saw all of the fighting. Unfortunately for him, he had left the car keys inside the car.[35]

Page 4

     Main article: NeS Page 4

The 7 Eleven

Somehow a 7 Eleven shop appeared within the Arena and The Otter decided he was going to raid it instead of joining the battles. After he stole some food, the audience members chased him down and demanded that they raid the shop again and give them all free food.[36] Instead of just raiding the shop, The Otter claimed it as his own fort before throwing the free food to the audience members.[37] Sometime later the protagonists from the computer game Sam & Max[38] enter the Arena. The Otter, within his fort, had been watching a commercial where he saw the audience in the commercial get eaten by Bo the Alligator, after which Bo the Alligator headed to the Arena to cause havoc there too.[39] The Otter took it upon himself to stop Bo the Alligator and remembered that the creature had eaten a drunk cameraman. Thus The Otter used his magical fire power to burn Bo the Alligator, who was extra flammable because of the alcohol.[40] Sam & Max used a remaining Rabbit Walker to attack Otter's 7 Eleven, blowing it to pieces.[41]


Justyn's Demise & The Crow's Nest

Now with no 'hide-out' The Otter managed to find a new location which he decided to claim instead - an old janitor's storeroom that was filled with pornography. He named it The Crow's Nest.[42] After chasing Gebohq around the Arena, Justyn eventually found himself being chased by Gebohq and Semievil in turn. However during his escape he is suddenly attacked by Massassians wielding Rubber Duckies.[43] Justyn tried to use his 'board moderator powers' on the other Massassians but didn't do it in time before he was being beaten by rubber duckies. Because of the beating Justyn began to swear and, as a knee-jerk reaction, he took out his Ban Antiperspirent and used it upon himself - thus causing himself to be destroyed.[44] Next minute, however, the Massassians were fighting against the Rubber Duckies in an all-out battle royale. When one huge Rubber Duckie loomed over Gebohq, he felt the deep desire for the toilet and ran to the Men's W.C. There he found the secret entrance to The Otter's Crow's Nest and joined him there.[45]


April Fools' Day & Murder

Semievil was caught up in the middle of the Rubber Duckie-Massassian battle and found himself confronted with Arbiter. For some reason, Arbiter believed himself to be some kind of parental figure to Semievil and chased after him wanting a hug. Ares' Clone, who speaks monotonously and often reads aloud, confronted Semievil while reading Hamlet. Finally he was also confronted by Sam & Max who wanted to discuss Semievil's past conduct - thus surrounding Semievil on four fronts.[46] To deal with the situation, Semievil handed Ares' Clone a new book to read and then attacked the rest. The only confirmed kill, however, was Max.[47]

Then the forces of Thrawn suddenly invaded the Arena and pushed back the protagonists. The Otter and Gebohq were in the Crow's Nest and found a mysterious button to press. The Otter pushed it and - it shut down the NeS. However, in the Writers' Realm, Gebohq the Writer made it clear that his post had been an April Fools' Day joke and that it didn't happen - rewarding him with a scolding from the Editor.[48]

Semievil burst into the Crow's Nest to confront Gebohq.[49] However Gebohq had eaten seven-year-old twinkies and was experiencing hallucinations. He fell from the window and landed in the bleachers were, because he was mentally unstable, he murdered Rob X who had been sleeping there. Gonk then appeared and Gebohq was about to kill it too.[50] However Gebohq is stopped by The Otter. Yet this was just so that The Otter could kill Gonk himself, using his fire magic to melt it.[51]

Page 5

Main article: NeS Page 5

MaybeChild

Page 5 opened with a continuity error, and the first time such an error was addressed. Semievil strapped Gonk to a rocket and sent him flying into space, however the last post of Page 4 saw The Otter kill Gonk by melting him down. This continuity is corrected by the crew of Star Trek: The Next Generation[52] when they corrected the timestream by going back in time and repairing Gonk into Gonk2m4, thus allowing Semievil to send him into space.[53] Maybelle Child, more commonly known as "Maybe", arrived amidst the confusion and though she did little during her introduction she would later become one of the most memorable Characters.[54] After making a series of Scooby-doo jokes[55] However a new minor antagonist would arrive by the name of Raistlin Majere.[56] After a short fight, Semievil beat Raistlin and tried to tie him up using banana peels.[57]


Semievil's Feud & Trixie the Dog

Semievil was having trouble tying the banana peels and Raistlin offered some advice, which Semievil followed. Unfortunately Semievil wound up tying himself up instead of Raistlin. Maybe Child and the others were meanwhile acting like hippies and she decided to help Semievil by burning the banana peels with insence. However this just set Semievil on fire.[58] After a long battle between Semievil and Raistlin, Semievil won and forced Raistlin to apologise for ruining his clothes.[59] An Arena Bar appeared[60] and The Otter and Antestarr get drunk. Antestarr tried to hit on a woman, while The Otter set fire to the bar.[61] After Antestarr saved the woman, she turned out to be a man.[62] Following these events The Otter returned to his Crow's Nest where a group of lesbians found his pornography collection and were instantly enamoured. They, somehow, stopped being lesbian and became The Otter's bunny girl's.[63]

The scene changed and Antestarr and Semievil faced-off on the Arena floor.[64] Antestarr summoned his pet rottweiler named Trixie.[65]


Yodafied & The Hospital Escape

Semievil somehow managed to beat Trixie and though there is the implication that he had killed her, she would later return as a cyber-dog (citation needed). After beating her off-screen, Semievil was using a weapon that was made from her 'dog-jaw' and intended to attack Antestarr with it. However the two Writers, Antestarr the Writer and Semievil333 the Writer began to argue and fight over the situation as Antestarr demanded that Semievil couldn't use that weapon. As compensation, Semievil the Character was Yodafied, meaning to become Yoda-like.[66]

In the meanwhile, in the Writers' Realm, after Antestarr the Writer had attacked Semievil333 the Writer. Semievil333 the Writer wound up in the hospital. He shooed nurses away and put Coke[67] into his veins via njections.[68] Semievil333 the Writer saw a vending machine from the hospital window and climbed out to get to it, only to find he was unable to get to the coke because he had no money.[69] Just as he lost hope he saw a Dr Pepper[70] lorry arrive. However the drivers of the lorry fell out, dead, killed by TheOtter the Writer and Mel Brooks. They then drove off in the lorry.[71]

Page 6

     Main article: NeS Page 6

Writers' Realm & The Plot

Still in the Writers Realm, Page 6 opened with Semievil attacking the vending machines for Coca-Cola which he then fed himself through an intravenous drip and shuffled his way back to the NeS Offices of the Massassi Temple Building. [72] After cola is spilt on Gebohq the Writer's laptop, he sarcastically laments the inability to write for the NeS - but the Editor demanded that he begin writing on a typewriter if need be.[73]

Raistlin Majere used his magic to create a dome of atmosphere around the Arena, rose the Arena into the sky and then made it land on the asteroid headed towards the Earth. He then altered the course of the asteroid so that it was headed straight for Grand Admiral Thrawn's Star Destroyer. Finally he pulled down the constellation of Ursa Major[74] into the Arena as a physical manifestation of a gigantic bear.[75]

MaybeChild was, for some unexplained reason, drinking tea that contained sentient mushroom.[76]

Cats, Dogs & Bears

Trixie, Antestarr's dog, went through medical procedures to replace the bones that Semievil had taken from her - including the jaw bone. Once she was fixed, she returned to the Arena to reek vengeance. However when she arrived she and Ursa Major instantly fell in love and disappeared off-screen. They returned shortly with a litter of half-dog, half-steller-bears.[77] Semievil realised that he may be in danger from this little family and tricked Otter into wearing his cloak and wielding the jaw-bone weapon made from Trixie's own bone. He then told Otter to go and talk to Trixie about getting more bones.[78]

Morris the Cat felt like he was being replaced and wanted to kill Trixie the Cyber Dog.[79] He entered the bedroom of Trixie and Ursa Major. However MaybeChild, who was still searching for her sentient mushrooms, accidentally stood on Morris' tail - thus ending his plot. Awoken by Morri's yowl, Ursa Major intended to kill Maybe but she offered him her mushrooms and he left. The Otter came in, looking for bones, but Maybe told him that Semievil's cloak did not suit him and made him get changed. Before Maybe could destroy the cloak, Semievil rushed in to save it because it was his favourite. He put it back on, just as Trixie woke up and recognised him. He asked for support but both Maybe and Otter had already left.[80] Semievil was then chased around the Arena by Trixie as though she were a bull.[81] Semievil then relied on the Writers to save him and Morris the Cat appeared, much larger than usual, and he stomped on Trixie. After playing with Semievil like a cat toy, Gonk2m4 finally came back down into the Arena which attracted Morris' attention and freed Semievil.[82]


And Now for Something Completely Different...

Semievil gave Ares' Clone a Rubber Duckie and Ares' Clone fell into song about romance with a rubber duck.[83] However, he then said, "And Now for Something Completely Different..."[84] which is a phrase from Monty Python. The scene switched to Gebohq giving a documentary about the art of comedy. However he is interrupted when the Narrator is chased by an unruly mob. Gebohq blamed the Writers for bad writing - so we were then shown the Writers' Realm where the Writers were having a party and getting very drunk. Antestarr the Writer declared that he was going to end the NeS.[85] The NeS is then saved by TheOtter the Writer who knocked Antestarr the Writer out with a petrified peep.[86] Geboq changed the scene again to something completely different and tried to get people to play a game. Unfortunately no one was interested. Instead MaybeChild went to have sex with someone called Davy Jones, while Semievil arrived with the Narrator hog-tied.[87]

When they removed the duct-tape from the Narrator's mouth, he quickly said, "And now for something completely different.",[88] thus changing the scene and freeing himself. The scene went back to the Arena with Gonk2m4 whizzing around the Arena. It crashed into the taco stand belonging to Enchilada Man and the tacos, who were sentient, sought revenge. First they blasted Gonk2m4, then the blasted the Narrator who burnt to dust. Etched into the dust was the Monty Python catchphrase again.[89] Once again in the Arena Uncle Tusk arrived and after stating his dislike for cats, Morris the Cat approached him.[90] Semievil then ate some cheese that finally de-Yodafied him.[91] The Otter travelled to the local radio station where he was unexpectedly struck by a block of cheese wielded by Totallyevil, Semievil's sister.[92]

Totallyevil

Totallyevil revealed the head of Grand Admiral Thrawn, apparently having killed him herself. She was joined by Wolf and Farr. The trio, and Otter, were transported to the Arena. After Semievil333 the Writer transformed the heroes into fantasy RPG characters, The Otter was able to use magic to transport them all to Stonehenge.[93] Moments after they arrived, they look up to watch the asteroid, and Arena, crash into Thrawn's Star Destroyer - thus ending the first story arc and beginning the next, Totallyevil (Story Arc).[94]

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